In the Middle of It with Amy Kelly, The Ish Girl
Successful Parenting 101? There is No Such Thing
Released: Jan 22, 2019
40th Episode Show Notes
Biggest Takeaways:
Our teens pick up on our energy – they watch what we do and take in all our non-verbal cues. They see and feel and pick up on so much more than we can ever realize in the moment. It’s valuable to spend time listening to what is not said in our own behavior as well as in our children’s. Be aware of busyness and try to bring more peaceful energy and space to your interactions with your teens. Be aware of what’s developmentally appropriate for your teen – and what’s appropriate for you as a parent. Know your own triggers so you can manage your responses. Sometimes the best moments you ever have with your teens are the ones that have gone the most wrong – and maybe even the ones where you have not responded well. You can humbly flip roles and let your teen be the “wise” one or the “teacher. Kellye’s vision for her children as adults: “Good, independent, interdependent, responsible people” You don’t have to be a great parent or even a good one – you just have to be a good enough parent. Being a united team as you co-parent, whether with a spouse or an ex or otherwise, is HUGE for your teens. It gives them a stability and security that they will value later on. When life knocks you to your knees, you’ve got to keep showing up and trying to be that “good enough” parent. It’s an adjustment when your kids leave home – for Kellye, it was helpful to create space for new things by letting go of some of her identity as a mom The college years can be hard. Your kids are getting the message that they are fully adult when they’re really not – especially if they’re still on your payroll. Once they are “good, independent, interdependent, responsible people” that transition can be hard too – as new adults, they may push back in order to fully separate from you. When your children are older, your role shifts to that of a consultant – you become a consultant. Which means you have to be invited to speak into their lives. Let’s face it, they probably already know what you’re going to say – you’ve become the voice in their heads. It’s important to be REAL with your teens, especially if you’re going through a hard time. You don’t want to overburden them, but they already know something is going on. Let them into your life. Not letting teens in can cause anxiety or undue stress. They often make up stories in their heads to explain things that are much worse than the reality, or even blame themselves for whatever is going on.
Referenced in this Episode:
How to Be The Parent They Need by Amy Kelly and Tami Schow
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